I hate the effect chaos has on my life. I feel tired, lethargic, dumpy, and vulnerable when , even for a couple of days, things don’t go as planned. This happens when I’ve been lazy and not followed my usual routine. This also happens when circumstances prevent me from completing some work, errand or chore. And sometimes it just happens because life gets in the way. Whenever my house is a mess, my laundry basket is overflowing, my food has been junk, my exercise has been missing and my me-time has been negligible, I see my mind and body reacting negatively and I honestly do not like it and if you have had similar experiences, neither would you, I am sure.
So, as soon as I feel the chaos taking over me, I try to do certain things that make me get back a sense of normalcy. These steps or stages are what usually get me to sanity even if I mess up sometimes.
- Awareness :- The first and the most important stage is the time when I realize that something is wrong. A lack of focus, unusual lethargy and a general sense of doom is usually when I know that there is something that needs to be changed. It’s only been a few years since I’ve learnt to listen to my body and see the signs before it is too late but I do now and it has really reduced my recovery time. These observations however have required me to be so in tune with my normal self to be able to see any deviations from the centre. I’ve focused a lot, intentionally, on what I feel when things are going great and what changes when things go bad. That intentionality, my friends, is the key to a lovely life.
- Guilt :- As soon as awareness hits, so does the guilt and a little bit of guilt is good, I’ve learnt. It’s like a slap that pushes me out of the funk a little bit. Or at least, it makes me want to get out of it. It is a hit of reality that makes me realize how much of it is my fault and how much isn’t. It gets me to realize that I am always in control of my behaviour no matter what the external environment is like. The guilt then makes me want to be better and I at least try.
- Pressure :- Then the pressure builds. The pressure to do something or achieve something that the chaos had not allowed me to do. The pressure acts as a deadline pushing me to get off that ledge and jump knowing that it could only get better from here. The pressure makes me get off my lazy butt and makes me decide on my next steps that would help me move forward from this insane time.
- Baby steps :- And then as they say, it all starts with the small baby steps. So, I think of what I can do which might take lesser effort than actual work and I do that. Keep in mind that these baby steps are to be productive and are to make my soul feel better. It can be anything from dancing it out to my favourite song, or putting away the dishes. I do it because it doesn’t feel so overwhelming. I do it because I feel considerably in control after those one or two steps. I do it because it motivates me to keep going, which I do.
5. Action :- I, finally, reach the stage where I wanted to be all along. The active one. This is where I decide to and am quite capable of doing the things that should have been a part of my life all along. This is where I get back to my usual self, feeling the way I should have always felt . I am doing all that needs to be done and let me tell you, it feels good.
- Hope :- The next stage is a hopeful one. I am hopeful that I do not have to go through these stages ever again. Or more realistically, I am hopeful that the time spent trying to manage myself in the chaos becomes lesser and lesser each time. I am hopeful that I am going to become the person I envision myself to be and more than anything I am hopeful that through it all, my life would remain good.
- Acceptance :- Though it may seem like I have gotten to where I have wanted to be, a place of discipline, routine and un-chaos ( if that is even a word), there is still something that remains to be spoken of ( or written of in this case). The acceptance that oftentimes I cannot control external circumstances is a major awakening that makes these chaos filled moments affect my sense of well-being less. Many a times life is chaotic and things often don’t go as planned. It is this acceptance that makes me not go off in the deep end and remain grounded and centered through it all. This acceptance is a life-saver and in this acceptance I hope to spend the rest of my life. In case I don’t, there are always these 7 stages to come back to which once again ends in acceptance. So,fortunately, I cannot seem to lose here.