Consilium et animus: Wisdom & courage – To stay away from toxic people

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There are some people in life who simply drain your energy every time you meet them. You feel tired, you feel negative, you feel vulnerable every single time you meet with them because what they talk, how they talk and how they behave breaks you down from the inside. You come back home feeling uninspired, uninterested in life and generally down in the dumps.

You might not realise it at the beginning but slowly you understand that it happens every time you meet them.You then may try to change them, steering them from gossip to wholesome talk, interrupting them every time they have something negative to say, guiding them in their choice of activities. It begins to work, they begin to see life from your perspective and your life starts rubbing off on them and that’s a win-win for both of you.

But, sometimes it doesn’t work the way you want it to and they start rubbing off on you slowly and steadily. You find yourself mimicking their pattern of living and find yourself becoming comfortable in their company until one day you have a good look in the mirror and don’t recognise yourself at all.

Our first responsibility as imperfect humans is not to judge but to help. We need to practice what we believe and be examples and guides to those around. But, at the point when we find ourselves weak and becoming influencees rather than influencers, we need to have the courage to take a step back and separate ourselves until we are strong enough not to be wrongly influenced.

It takes courage to separate from toxic people but for your mental sanity and wellbeing and your life to thrive, if that is what it takes, it is a step that needs to be taken. If fire burns your fingers, you stay away from fire, being careful around it to preserve your body. How much more precious is your life and its living?

Life is too short to be wasted moving like a yo-yo being up and then down and then up and then down yet again from now until eternity. Life is precious. Treat it like it is. Take that step, no matter how hard it is. It will be worth it.

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