Reality

Week 4 of 2021.

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I have long known that I have a deep sense of longing to build meaning and purpose into my life. Without it, I feel untethered, like a boat left on the sea without a captain or an anchor, drifting away with no sense to its existence.

This week that feeling of uselessness overwhelmed me as I struggled to find meaning in the day to day. Usually this feeling passes and I find my reason for existence but this time was different. This time there was no light in sight and it felt like I couldn’t keep my head above the water. I was sinking and I was sinking fast.

I don’t want to bore you with the details of my (internal) struggle or saddle you with my (mind-made) burdens so I’ll get to the point. I am still here. My head is above the water. My mind is clear and my burden is light.

How come?

I very intentionally pulled myself out of my funk by doing the things that usually give me a sense of purpose. Creating something. Completing tasks from my to-do list. Painting. Watching a comforting movie. Taking pictures. Dancing around the house like a crazy person. Whether I felt like doing it or not, I just did and I could see that light again.

I read this the other day…

“Watch for the morning light and receive small joys”

So, hang in there. There is a difference between how you feel and reality, as I have often learnt. There is wisdom in understanding the difference.

Hope you have a light-filled week!